


the light shines bright, though the candle burns low

by Cat10013



Series: KH3 What Ifs [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: DiZ continues to traumatize teenagers from beyond the NOT grave, Gen, Identity Issues, Nobodies (Kingdom Hearts) - Freeform, Roxas has a Panic Attack, as a kid you don't realize how awful what happened to Roxas really was, eventually i'll make this fluffy but for now have angst and panic and low self-esteem galore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 20:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14655357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat10013/pseuds/Cat10013
Summary: Roxas wakes up in a bed. He definitely shouldn't be here though. He should be back with Sora.So why is he suddenly getting a second chance?





	1. Destati

**Author's Note:**

> I have plans for where this story is going, and most of them aren't the happiest. If you're looking for fluff before KH3, this isn't the right place. If you want some angst and reunions though, boy have I got the story for you.
> 
> Enjoy~

It was loud. And bright. He felt awareness creep in, slowly but surely. Before long he was blinking his eyes open.

“You’re awake.”

He turned slowly to the figure at his bedside. Some old guy with a long beard and… was that a wizard’s hat? He’d seen a lot of weird stuff before… but he’d rather not think about that. About before.

“I’m surprised you were so quick. Then again, knowing _that_ boy I should’ve learned by now.”

“You mean Sora, right?” His confusion shifted to stoicism. Not anger like with the man in red. This guy didn’t seem like he was trying to manipulate him. He just nodded along and started stroking his beard.

“Indeed. Tell me Roxas, how do you feel?”

At that he couldn’t help but scoff. Since when had people cared about how he felt? _Sora does_ , he thought briefly, but quickly dismissed it as he moved to sit up. “I don’t. I’m a Nobody - no hearts, no feelings.”

“Is that what they told you?”

“It’s the truth.”

A door slammed open nearby, and some muffled shouts could be heard through the wall.

“Lea, y’can’t just barge in! Master Yen Sid’s takin’ care of ‘im, I promise.”

“Look I got my nap, so I’m going back in. That’s that!”

That voice… no, it couldn’t be.

The door behind Yen Sid hit the wall with a **thud** , and their eyes met. Neither said a word, just staring at the impossibility before them.

“I suppose I should leave you to it. Please be careful. He just woke up.” With those words, Yen Sid vanished in a cloud of smoke and the door to the room shut gently. They kept staring at each other, hoping the other would break the silence somehow. But how could they? Their last moments together had been tense at best. Roxas’ gaze moved to his shoes, the same sneakers from his last – and worst – week. His mouth opened but his throat was too tight to make a sound.

Suddenly, he had an armful of redhead. He felt the arms wrap around his back, clutching to the shirt he wore. A nose pressed to his neck. A warm wetness made its way under his collar.

“I’m glad you’re back, Roxas.”

Roxas slowly moved his arms to return the hug. “Axel, I…”

He chuckled grimly at that. “Actually, it’s Lea now.” He sniffed and pulled back just enough to have a proper conversation – though not far enough to let go of his shirt, even if he’d moved his grip to the sleeves. “Remember what I said before, about meeting in the next life? Well, uh, it’s kinda the next life for me. Or old life. Honestly, it’s kinda hard to keep track.”

He searched for some sign of a joke in his face but found nothing. He was being serious. “What do you mean?”

The grip on his sleeves tightened and a laugh burst from Axel – Lea’s – mouth. “I got my heart back, man.”

“Oh.” If he had a heart, it would’ve sunk into his stomach. So that was it then?

“Hey, hey, don’t gimme that sad face.” Two hands came up to cup his cheeks, thumbs wiping at… something. “I’m still me. I still remember everything, alright? Hell, if you still wanna call me Axel, go ahead. It’ll just be our thing, like icing on the cake.”

Roxas grabbed at Axel’s wrists. His grip was tight, desperate even. “I can’t… can’t get it back. Can’t do that to him. Can’t go away again.” His chest was tight and _something_ pounded in his ears. Black spots popped in and out of his sight.

“Hey, hey, you’re good. I’m here.”

Those words kept repeating, though he didn’t know for how long. It was a stream of _I’m here_ s and _You’re not going anywhere again_ s and when his breathing started to calm he realized they were sitting on the floor.

“He lied to all of us. Not your fault, Roxas. You couldn’t have known. He took everything from me. But he’s gonna get it, I swear. For you. And Isa and Namine... and _her._ ”

Roxas wiggled around, trying to find a better position for his numb legs, but when Axel refocused his attention he stopped. “Sorry. Don’t know what happened.”

Axel started shifting then too, splitting them up just long enough to stand before he wrapped an arm around Roxas’ shoulder. “What happened is that you realized what we should’ve known the whole time.” He tapped Roxas on the chest and sighed. “Xemnas, well, he lied to us all. We believed him cause we were scared and we didn’t know better, but… we had hearts the whole time. Maybe not our own, but enough to be more than _just_ Nobodies.”

His hand hovered over the left side of his chest. Sure enough he could feel a soft, steady thump. A beat. A _heart_ beat. The hand became a fist and his teeth were clenched. “Where’s Sora?”

Axel paled. His sad face turned to one of utter despair. He wouldn’t even make eye contact.

“You know I’m not like you Axel. I… I _can’t_ be my own person. He and I are too different to be the same. I have to give it back.”

“No!” Roxas looked up and was met with fiery green eyes. He could almost smell smoke in the room too. After a moment, Axel let out a heavy sigh and calmed down just slightly. “No, it’s… you’ll see.” He felt a hand wrap around his and begin to pull him toward the door.

“Where are we going?”

“To see him.” Axel opened the door and they made their way towards the truth.


	2. Missing Y̶o̶u̶  Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxas and Axel head upstairs to get some answers. Re:Introductions are in order, and awkwardness ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry about the wait between chapters. Inspiration to do anything, let alone write, tends to come and go faster than I can get a handle on it.
> 
> I have a plan for this story, so please bear with me and enjoy!
> 
> (also there may be some curse words in descriptions, but none of the main characters are gonna use them if i can help it - except Lea maybe, but we'll see...)

He had no idea where they were going. Even with all the dreams he’d had of Sora’s memories, none of them had ever involved this weird tower. Axel just dragged him down a hall and through whatever doors were nearby. At this point he wasn’t bothering to keep track.

“You know,” Axel started. “I’ve had plenty of time to look back on the things I did. All the lies... I should’ve told you everything. Maybe then things wouldn’t have ended the way they did.” He laughed bitterly but didn’t stop moving. And that got Roxas thinking. There was a lot he _could_ say, but what would his friend _need_ to hear right about now? It’d been so long since their talks on the clock tower that he was afraid of screwing it up.

“We both had our moments,” he eventually settled on. “But no matter what happened, you wouldn’t give up on me... I never did thank you for that, did I?” They kept walking, but Axel’s grip on his wrist finally loosened and was quickly replaced with an arm slung around his shoulder.

“No need, kiddo. That’s what friends are for, right?” Roxas felt the arm give a gentle squeeze before suddenly he was being held down and given the noogie of a lifetime.

“Hey! Cut it out!” Axel just laughed, something far more genuine than before. For a second he hesitated, his hand hovering dangerously close to the blonde’s scalp.

“I don’t think I will. You’ve been way too grumpy.” Yeah, no way he was going down without a fight now. Roxas struggled in his hold, loosening himself enough to stumble further up the stairs, and laughed.

“If you wanted to cheer me up,” he started, trying to get his hair somewhat back to normal. “You could’ve just bribed me with ice cream. Isn’t that your go-to anyway?” At that, Axel made a noise of confusion. He looked like he was both trying to come up with a snarky reply and thinking back on how true the claim actually was. After a few seconds he groaned.

“Man, I never realized how much of that stuff we ate,” he started. His concerned face quickly turned into a smirk more devious than he’d worn in a while. “So I guess we’ll start cutting back! Gotta keep you from packing on the pounds.” Axel patted him on the stomach and walked ahead, taking the lead once more.

“Hey!” Roxas kept pace with him and both boys were wearing soft smiles. After what felt like ages they finally they reached the doors at the top. They seemed pretty ordinary, just made of wood with iron handles, and he didn’t know why but he’d expected something more… flamboyant? Magical? Interesting maybe?

“You gonna open the doors or just stare at them?” Roxas turned to Axel, prepared to ask what all this buildup was for exactly, when he saw the shit eating grin plastered on his face. The glare was turned on him as he grabbed both handles and pulled.

It took a moment for his eyes to adjust – they were coming from a glowing, floating staircase, after all – but once they did he froze. Sitting outside a door in the otherwise empty office were Donald and Goofy. He’d only ever known them through memories that weren’t his own, and he wanted to turn tail and run – he didn’t belong with them, given that they were _Sora’s_ friends and all.

Unfortunately, that’s when they looked up. Goofy smiled softly but stayed still in his spot while Donald gave a sad, almost pitying look.

“Gawrsh, we didn’t think you’d be walkin’ around so soon.” Goofy’s voice was quiet but easily heard. It put Roxas way more at ease than it should’ve, and while he thought that should bother him, it just… didn’t. It gave him enough confidence to step inside the room and move slowly toward the pair.

“Um… hi. I know we haven’t, uh, officially met…” He struggled to find words and kept his gaze on the ground beneath them. When he had no other ideas, he just extended a hand towards the duo. _This is so stupid! What am I doing?_ He shut his eyes in embarrassment. _They’re not_ my _friends! Why would they care?_

His thoughts stopped in their tracks when he felt two feathered hands grip his own and give a soft but firm shake.

“Aww, c’mon, you can’t introduce yourself like that.” The hands pulled him forward just a bit too fast and before he knew it he was landing flat on his face.

“Hey, what was that about!?” He was trying to get on his hands and knees so he couldn’t see anyone yet, but Axel sounded _mad_.

“It was an accident! Don’t start _yelling_ at me.”

“Accident? You were pulling him hard enough to throw across the room! What part of ‘just woke up’ didn’t get through to you, bird brain?”

“It’s not like I wanted that to happen, hothead!”

While Donald and Axel argued, someone else started to help him up, supporting a shoulder with one hand and pushing him upright with the other. When he managed to open his eyes, he saw Goofy kneeling in front of him with a smile.

“Sorry about that. We’ve all been kinda worried lately. You okay?” He started to reach for Roxas’s face but paused halfway through, leaving his hands to hover awkwardly.

“I, uh, it’s fine.” He brushed off his clothes, trying to act calm while words were failing him. _Great. Your first impression and you already screwed it up. They’ll hate you now._

“Hey! What’s going on up here?” Axel and Donald paused mid-sentence – though Donald actually winced while Axel just crossed his arms, looking as smug as ever – and everyone turned to face the newcomer. Roxas didn’t see anyone.

“Sorry about the noise, yer majesty,” Goofy started. “You see-”

“The duck just tried to throw my friend across the room.”

Wait, _majesty_? As in _that_ majesty?

“For the last time, I did not! It was just a handshake.”

“Well, you definitely put more _shake_ in it than I’ve ever seen!”

Roxas raised himself up a little higher and noticed two black circles peeking out from behind the desk.

“Enough, you two!” Axel sighed and Donald stood perfectly still. “I don’t know what’s going on, but all this shouting isn’t gonna make anything better. You know you’re not the only ones worrying.”

Silence, probably a glare, and Axel started to scratch his cheek – one of those nervous ticks he’d always had – before muttering a soft “sorry.” Donald was going into a full bow, his stillness from before replaced with a tremble in his arms.

“Awww, I’m sorry.” He didn’t move, but footsteps came closer to Roxas while Axel seemed to give the duck a solid pat on the back.

“We’re all just stressed.” Goofy spoke up, gripping Roxas’s shoulder in a way that was firm but comforting. “I know Donald didn’t mean to pull so hard, but the last time we had to watch him do _that_ was just-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” He put a hand over Goofy’s and looked back at the trio behind him. He waited until Donald looked back at him and took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. “I’m fine. The climb up here probably took more out of me than I realized, that’s all.” Rising to his feet, he tried to put on a reassuring smile.

“Guys? What’s going on?”

Everyone turned to the new voice, but Roxas froze. He slowly turned to the door behind Goofy, wheels turning in his head. The last time he’d heard that voice he’d been fighting for his life. When their eyes met, the shock on their faces was plain to see.

“Roxas?”

“Riku.”


End file.
